I Came Out to My Mom As an Agnostic

5/8/2014

Christ Carrying the Cross - El Greco

A few days ago, I came out to my mom as an agnostic. I thought it would be better if she learned it from me than from my book, which just came out, which I just sent her a copy of, which she has by now read. Her response so far? Silence. I'm not about to claim “admitting” agnosticism to your parents is as fraught as “admitting” homosexuality. But when your mom is from the Deep South, the Bible Belt, Alabama to be exact, the rejection and condemnation precipitated by your revelation can be extreme. (I realize the word “admit” has the wrong connotation. Sometimes words fail me. Or maybe I fail them.)

Read my book, Good Friday 2000, for free.

Read more poems about faith or lack of faith.

Read poems about family.

2 Comments

Dana Crum

5/11/2014 04:22:24 am

Apparently, this was a false alarm. My mom's silence was due to a mail delay. She didn't receive my book when I thought she did. I had revealed my agnosticism before sending the book -- that conversation was tense but not awful. When I didn't hear from her after sending her my book, I thought her response worsened once she read what I wrote . But all's well. Don't get me wrong: I expect her to try to steer me back to Christianity from time to time (though I asked her not to). But this is the best outcome I could have hoped for. After I posted the initial post on Facebook a friend mentioned "crazy domineering" mothers who hamstring their sons. I don't know if my friend was obliquely referring to me (if so, I'm not upset; it's cool), but for the record I'm not controlled by my mom. Honestly, I'm lauded too much; I can almost do no wrong. This whole revelation I made to my mom was not about a weak son asserting himself; it was about a son speaking the unspoken in a family where too much goes unspoken. I could say more, but I'll leave it at that. So on this Mother's Day, my relationship with my mom is in good shape. [I usually avoid very personal posts like this one. But oh, well.]

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3/23/2021 06:30:52 am

Very nice blog you haave here

I Came Out to My Mom As an Agnostic

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